The gift of a good goodbye

I've often heard that to truly ascertain the culture of a school, notice how you are greeted in the halls, but you can also learn how a school values individuals by the way it says goodbye. 

Goodbyes are a natural part of life. Some are anticipated and expected like the goodbyes that come when students move from elementary school to middle school, middle school to high school, and high school to college. With those goodbyes, schools typically plan special events or ceremonies to acknowledge the memories made and the growth gained during the students' time at the school. But what happens when the goodbye comes unexpectedly ----a student transfers or a teacher moves and has to leave or even leaves to work at another location? How do you acknowledge those goodbyes? While the timing may not allow for a ceremony or celebration, there are three things you can do to make sure you part on good terms:

HOW YOU CAN GIVE A GOOD GOODBYE:
Acknowledge the person's time and her value to your school: It's important to verbalize not only the length of time spent together, but also that person's positive contributions to your culture. 
For example, you might say to the student who is transferring, "Even though I've only been your teacher for a few weeks, I am thankful you were in my class. You are a student who always contributes positively to our class discussions." The more specific and personal the comment is, the greater its impact will be. 

Affirm the person's place in your school AND his potential in his new placement: For children, switching schools can be confusing especially if they have moved around often. They can feel lost and as if they don't have a place to belong. When I worked as elementary principal, I would always tell my students who withdrew, "Remember ---once an Eagle, always an Eagle no matter where you are" and then add "I know you will be a blessing to your teachers and new friends at your new school." 

If possible, give a small token as a memorial to your time together: Whether it's a handwritten note, flowers, a picture, or some other keepsake, taking the time to give a gift, sends the message that the person is valued. It also gives them a tangible reminder of the time with your school. 

Whether these three actions occur in a brief five minute conversation or in front of a room full of people,  regardless of the circumstances surrounding the departure, it is imperative to both the school and the person leaving that the separation be an intentional, good goodbye. For the school community, it serves as a testimony of their commitment to valuing the individuals they serve. And for the person leaving, it transforms a closing door into a gateway to a bold, fresh start.